Greetings to the Sheep

August 9, 2011

Greetings to our Sheep from your beloved and benevolent Federal Government.
As you know, or should know because we say it over and over again, we, your friendly Federal Government, are all wise, all knowing, all caring, and compassionate.

You, our loyal and obedient Sheep, are always on our minds. We think about you day and night and we are continually focused on ways to make your wool grow faster. With all the benefits we are providing for you, we need more and more wool.

We know it has been unsettling for you since we changed shearing from a semi-annual to a quarterly event, but , as we said, these benefits do not come without a cost. Consequently, we are forced to alter the schedule once again.

Beginning immediately, shearing will be done monthly. You have been so loyal and obedient since we began all these benefit programs back in the 1930’s, we know you will understand.
So get out there, take your medicine, and grow your wool faster. We really need the wool and you are our only source since our China imports have dried up.