August 11, 2011

Greetings to our Sheep Update.
It has come to our attention that some of you have developed characteristics
somewhat foreign to the meek, benign and docile reputation you Sheep have
exhibited for so long.
Reports have reached us that some of you are straying off, ignoring your kindly Shepherd. Even the sheep dogs we provided to watch over you, guide you and protect you are being attacked by some ungrateful and angry sheep.
This situation is incomprehensible and cannot be tolerated. Beginning immediately we have instructed the Wool Gathering Dept. to replace the nice, loving, caring sheep dogs with pit bulls specifically trained to “gather in the strays”, so to speak.
Also, we will be tripling the number of shepherds and change the wool shearing schedule from monthly to bi-weekly. Tripling the shepherds will help reduce the un-employment rate which is good. Unfortunately, we have to have more wool to pay them.
Always remember, your benevolent FG knows what is best for you. We are all wise, all knowing, all caring, and compassionate.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Greetings to the Sheep
August 9, 2011
Greetings to our Sheep from your beloved and benevolent Federal Government.
As you know, or should know because we say it over and over again, we, your friendly Federal Government, are all wise, all knowing, all caring, and compassionate.
You, our loyal and obedient Sheep, are always on our minds. We think about you day and night and we are continually focused on ways to make your wool grow faster. With all the benefits we are providing for you, we need more and more wool.
We know it has been unsettling for you since we changed shearing from a semi-annual to a quarterly event, but , as we said, these benefits do not come without a cost. Consequently, we are forced to alter the schedule once again.
Beginning immediately, shearing will be done monthly. You have been so loyal and obedient since we began all these benefit programs back in the 1930’s, we know you will understand.
So get out there, take your medicine, and grow your wool faster. We really need the wool and you are our only source since our China imports have dried up.
Greetings to our Sheep from your beloved and benevolent Federal Government.
As you know, or should know because we say it over and over again, we, your friendly Federal Government, are all wise, all knowing, all caring, and compassionate.
You, our loyal and obedient Sheep, are always on our minds. We think about you day and night and we are continually focused on ways to make your wool grow faster. With all the benefits we are providing for you, we need more and more wool.
We know it has been unsettling for you since we changed shearing from a semi-annual to a quarterly event, but , as we said, these benefits do not come without a cost. Consequently, we are forced to alter the schedule once again.
Beginning immediately, shearing will be done monthly. You have been so loyal and obedient since we began all these benefit programs back in the 1930’s, we know you will understand.
So get out there, take your medicine, and grow your wool faster. We really need the wool and you are our only source since our China imports have dried up.
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